Violence against women is an age old problem.

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This meal is for my Po Po who had a very sad and tragic life. She was a victim of spousal abuse. Po Po known to me as Ah Sau 阿 秀 (pretty and elegant) was from a wealthy family and was betrothed to a son from another wealthy family. Sadly he did not come home to marry her. This is the most shameful thing that can ever happen to a Chinese bride-to-be. She will have no chance of marrying into a respectable family ever again.

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She was forced to marry a poor man from village my Kong Kong (maternal grandfather). My grandparents worked for the silk industry in the village of 顺德. (Cantonese dialect) They gather mulberry leaves to feed the silk worms.It did not bring in much money but there was enough to put food on the table. Unfortunately my Kong Kong was a compulsive gambler. My Po Po was the easiest target of his fury whenever he lost. Abuse turned very violent.

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One day my mother aged around 4 years old, witnessed what must have been the fatal blow that killed my Po Po. He smashed a wooden washboard against the back of Po Po. She passed away in the middle of the night. The only thing my mother remembered was in the still of the night she called out sorrowfully for her dead mother.I always choke up when I think about this episode. It was sadness twice over. Once that my Po Po died so tragically and twice my mother lost her own mother at such a young age

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Why is it so important to me to invite my Po Po to dinner?

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It is to thank her for loving my mother so much in those short years that it can be played forward to me. My mother was my best friend, mentor and mother all at once and her love was totally unconditional. In return she made herself so easy to love

I have no idea what my Po Po looked like but my mother told me I inherited her hands. Soft with slender fingers.